Leefrank.com
Our Story
A bare room.
A door stage right, a ratty chair, and a bed. The lighting is skewed: we know there’s a child in the bed, but we can’t see them clearly. Only the edge of the bed and the vague outline of the child beneath the covers are visible.
The bed, though old, is covered with a brand-new eiderdown—bright, printed with teddy bears and dolls.
On the floor, a crumpled sheet of plastic—the eiderdown’s discarded wrapping.
The rest of the set is swallowed in thick, impenetrable darkness.
A knock.
The door opens.
Dominic pokes his head in.
Dominic: You alright?
Dominic- 35 years old, dressed in t-shirt and shorts, slightly disheveled- enters. In his hand a supermarket carry bag
I was worried about you.
He comes over, squares the eiderdown
Must be a bugger not being able to speak. I lost my voice for a whole month once. Bloody el cheapo medicine did more harm than good ha ha
He brings the chair closer to the bed. From the bag, he takes out a tin plate, a can of baked beans, a can opener, a spoon, and a napkin.
He lays them out neatly on the floor, then smiles—self-deprecating
You know, I thought we should have ourselves a story time. Ya’d like that?
My father used to tell me stories. It was all he had. And they weren’t too bad, either. Far away lands, princes, generals, the odd revolution here and there … all sorts of things.
So, once upon a time, in a kingdom as flash as you could get, there was a frog. Now, as frogs go, he was not a good-looking frog. Fact is, he was pretty damn ugly. Any tadpoles that were nearby would take one look at him and squeal,
“Oh, boy, I hope I don’t end up like him!!
He begins to open the can
The other boy-frogs turned their back on him and the girl-frogs wouldn’t give him the time of day. On top of this he was poor. He had absolutely nothing. Not even a patch of the pond he could call his own. What with his ugliness and his poverty and everyone always cutting him down about his situation the frog began to turn nasty. He’d snap at every little thing- at crazy stuff like baby water skaters or tiny breezes ruffling the face of the pond.
He pauses, fidgets with the spoon
It’s very important you understand the frog was not naturally mean. It was how things turned out. He had to survive.
One day, all the frogs of the pond got together and declared he would have to go because he was so ugly he was scaring all the mosquitoes away and soon there’d be no food left for any of the amphibians. … That’s a fancy, hoity toity name for frogs.
A faint sound from the bed. He glances over. His voice softens slightly as he spoons the beans out of the can onto the plate
Now, if the frog had some midges or moss or some tiny edges of the pond he could call his own, or if, say, he had come from a good family, maybe he could have paid for one of the better educated frogs, one of the fancy hoity-toity types, to speak up for him; to defend him, like a lawyer or somethin’; but, no, you want to know what this frog had? Nothing! Nothing not even the shirt on his back. Not even the skin! The skin!
He spills some beans. A beat.
Did I do that? Ha, silly me. Where was I? The frog, right? The frog being thrown out of the pond.
He removes a newspaper from the carry bag, mops up the spill
Well, I can tell you he was sad and nasty. Real sad and real nasty. It got so bad he didn’t even hop. He just dragged himself cursing and crying over the dirt and stones from city to city, village to village. And he got cut and he got bruised and he got sick. So, after a while, he ended up being uglier than he was at the beginning of the story. Can you get a hold of that?! Uglier!! And don’t go thinking he was a prince-that-had-been-turned-into-a-frog frog. No, that isn’t the situation at all. Not a bit. It’s much simpler. The frog was just very, very ugly.
Then, one day, the frog- battered and coughing and covered in slashes- saw a group of kids by a tree, like a knot of them shouting and carrying on and in the centre of the knot there was a tug of war going on as if they were fighting over something.
He gestures vaguely, eyes distant
He went up to the kids and asked what was going on. The kids turned around and they freaked. The frog was so ugly it was like the Devil and their most hated teacher all rolled up into one. The children screamed and ran away but there was one kid who stayed and he was the very thing the kids had been fighting over. The boy was all beat up and lying in the dust and the frog said,
“Why don’t you run away?”
“I can’t. I’m blind.” said the blind boy.
“But aren’t you afraid?” said the frog.
“Afraid of what?”
“Well, just look at me” then the frog thought a bit and said “Well, don’t I sound scary?”
“No.”
“Well, I must sound ugly.”
“No. You sound all right. You sound cool.”
Dominic wrestles with a laugh
“Hurh! Well, tell me, why were those kids picking on you?”
“They were fighting over me. There’s a poster on that tree. The poster says the king is looking for the ugliest thing in the whole kingdom. Whoever finds it will get a reward of 100,000 gold pieces.”
“Yeah?” asked the frog.
“Yeah.” said the blind boy.
“Well,” said the frog, “what’s that got to do with you?”
“They said I’m not like them, that I’m ugly.”
“You ugly?!! You can’t even see yourself. I’m the one who’s ugly.”
“You’re not ugly.”
“Oh, yes, I am. The ugliest.”
“You sound alright.”
“And you sound crazy!” snapped the frog.
Dominic stiffens. A pause. Watches the bed.
A tear started from the corner of one of the boy’s eyes. The frog felt a strange twinge of something he didn’t know what.
“Sorry,” he said, “I arr I… get too nasty sometimes.”
“It’s ok,” murmured the blind boy, “Sometimes I get too soft.”
“Hmm,” said the frog, “Well, seems to me I must have a good chance to be the ugliest thing in the kingdom since all those kids couldn’t get way from me fast enough.”
“That’s right,” said the blind boy.
“So, seems to me, that if you took me to the king- coz I’m in a bad way and it’d take me forever to get there off my own bat- but, if you took me, we could get there in no time and claim those 100,000 gold pieces.”
“Seems to me the same.”
Pause. Dominic shifts in his seat.
Right there and then…
He glances around room, stands, fidgets
The story’s a cracker, right?
He sits. Resumes story
So, arrr, the blind boy, he picked up the frog and hid him in his shirt and asked people for directions to the king’s place. The frog peeped out and guided the boy and along the way the frog softened some of his meanness and the boy toughed up some of his softness until, finally, the two of them made it to the king’s enormous golden palace. There were towers there that touched the sky and the walls of these towers glittered with rubies and sapphires. And inside the palace was the king’s most cherished treasure his garden: fountains that tumbled milk and nectar, flowers so beautiful no one ever cut them and even insects so beautiful they took your breath away. Everything was beautiful. And the boy and the frog went to the king ..
Dominic’s voice lowers. He watches the child.
and the king killed them.
He stomped the frog to death and threw the blind boy from the highest tower.
The king loved beautiful things, you see; he loved them so much he couldn’t stand anything ugly and anyone or anything that touched them and now, with the frog and the blind boy wiped out he knew his kingdom was pure and absolutely beautiful.
And that’s how things are. And I mean the world here.
But you and me we’re different. We’re not like that.
He looks down. Voice softer.
Our story. It’s different.
Beat. He edges toward the bed
I’m the frog, see, and the blind boy, too; and you- you’re the King’s most beautiful treasure. And the King- your Daddy- is going to pay five million dollars to get you back. And if Daddy doesn’t pay, well, Daddy’s going to get his treasure back in … snip, snip … installments… until he does… pay.
Muffled screams from the bed. Bed rattles
Dominic stares. At the child. At the red mush of beans.
He trembles.
Holds back tears
Lights out.